As usual an explosion of thoughts. The expectation of care. Whether the old ones see themselves as the caretakers of the amae or they finally don't care about stuffing down every neg thought and emotion and are letting fly. As far as initiative I found much of the same with the European exchange students I hosted. Zero ability to step up and just DO something. There had to be precedent, rules, and specific instructions and permissions. Seriously, those kids wouldn't fix themselves a bowl of cereal no matter how hungry and two of them didn't even know HOW to fix a bowl of cereal. Imagine being 17 years old and not knowing how corn flakes work. This sounds a little cruddy but I am surprised the Japanese bother to educate their special needs kids. If anything I'd assume they kept them locked up out of shame. Or warehoused in institutions out of sight/out of mind. Terrific piece! ~LA
I have to admit, whenever I hear assumptions or judgements about Japanese people, it always really raises my hackles. I've suffered so much discrimination for much of my life because of this, so if I sound a bit snippy here, that's why.
I can't comment about European kids, but Japanese kids are far less reliant on their parents than American kids. Amae means that the whole society supports them, so they don't need particular individuals to support them. Amae is a psychological thing (not a capability thing) that actually allows for more freedom of movement, not less.
Different cultures teach different skills. For this reason, most Japanese people think that Americans lack initiative, we can't figure things out on our own, we're super spoiled, etc. The life skills that Americans learn aren't valued here, and we're clueless about the things that are valued here. Anytime you're stumbling through someone else's culture, where different types of knowledge are assumed, you're going to look like the most incompetent dope ever.
However, in Japan, it doesn't matter if you look like a dope because shame and pride don't work the same way here. Americans (or maybe colonialists) often make observations about other cultures, which is fine, but we go further to speculate about their interior motives. That part is often wildly inaccurate. We make a lot of assumptions about human nature, which isn't human nature, at all, it's just western thinking.
Differently abled people are out and about here, not hidden away. Almost all trains and public toilets are accessible. All sidewalks are textured for the blind. I'm not going to speculate as to why that's the case, but that's the case.
Not picking, just working with everything I've learned. How important how something 'looks' is. The scorn on those who got covid and how they must be unclean to have caught it is very strange to me. And seeing kids alone on transit freaks me out. I truly can't believe the groping and nasty touching so many women endure on trains suddenly just starts only after they are of legal age. Creeps are everywhere and women-only train cars are a thing for a reason. Chikan must happen to children too. Office workers staying crazy late hours even if they are finished because it looks bad to leave before the boss. Couples staying in horrible loveless marriages because his career will suffer and worse, their kids will, if they get divorced. I love and honor many, many things about Japan, not in question at all. Just the pride each is allowed to have in their job knocks me sideways with happiness. The emphasis on doing one's best without being cynical is lovely. Seeing someone describe their work and how vital it is to the operation as a whole with such pleasure...wowzers. I wish work here was valued and supported like that. And the ideal of keeping shared spaces tidy and quiet. The "This is why we can't have nice things" rotten behavior that's taken over in the US is so gross. Everything good gets smashed, stolen, or ruined by someone here. It's coarse and ugly and grown exponentially during your time away. Re-entry is going to be rough, and the noise will be the least of it. My assumptions about the handicapped were way wrong and I am sorry I was offensive. You are right, someone who's never been can't truly get a grasp on all the nuance and 'nuance' is Japan's middle name! I adore you. I have been feeling so cruddy and like my brain is full of boogers. To get to talk ideas like a grown-up, oy, so nice. I told you, the nasty people have truly been emboldened by the orange one's tenure and most of what passes for conversation is a string of invective and crocodile tears. Many thanks, my beauty. If I can tame my Medusa 'do into something reasonable I might even record tonight. Mwah!~LA
I had been trying to articulate what I've been missing about the Northeastern US and why I also have enjoyed the break from it. It's nice to trust your surroundings enough to surrender to it, but that also seems to mean giving up our creative energy in the process. We can't have our cake and eat it, too, I guess.
As usual an explosion of thoughts. The expectation of care. Whether the old ones see themselves as the caretakers of the amae or they finally don't care about stuffing down every neg thought and emotion and are letting fly. As far as initiative I found much of the same with the European exchange students I hosted. Zero ability to step up and just DO something. There had to be precedent, rules, and specific instructions and permissions. Seriously, those kids wouldn't fix themselves a bowl of cereal no matter how hungry and two of them didn't even know HOW to fix a bowl of cereal. Imagine being 17 years old and not knowing how corn flakes work. This sounds a little cruddy but I am surprised the Japanese bother to educate their special needs kids. If anything I'd assume they kept them locked up out of shame. Or warehoused in institutions out of sight/out of mind. Terrific piece! ~LA
I have to admit, whenever I hear assumptions or judgements about Japanese people, it always really raises my hackles. I've suffered so much discrimination for much of my life because of this, so if I sound a bit snippy here, that's why.
I can't comment about European kids, but Japanese kids are far less reliant on their parents than American kids. Amae means that the whole society supports them, so they don't need particular individuals to support them. Amae is a psychological thing (not a capability thing) that actually allows for more freedom of movement, not less.
Different cultures teach different skills. For this reason, most Japanese people think that Americans lack initiative, we can't figure things out on our own, we're super spoiled, etc. The life skills that Americans learn aren't valued here, and we're clueless about the things that are valued here. Anytime you're stumbling through someone else's culture, where different types of knowledge are assumed, you're going to look like the most incompetent dope ever.
However, in Japan, it doesn't matter if you look like a dope because shame and pride don't work the same way here. Americans (or maybe colonialists) often make observations about other cultures, which is fine, but we go further to speculate about their interior motives. That part is often wildly inaccurate. We make a lot of assumptions about human nature, which isn't human nature, at all, it's just western thinking.
Differently abled people are out and about here, not hidden away. Almost all trains and public toilets are accessible. All sidewalks are textured for the blind. I'm not going to speculate as to why that's the case, but that's the case.
Not picking, just working with everything I've learned. How important how something 'looks' is. The scorn on those who got covid and how they must be unclean to have caught it is very strange to me. And seeing kids alone on transit freaks me out. I truly can't believe the groping and nasty touching so many women endure on trains suddenly just starts only after they are of legal age. Creeps are everywhere and women-only train cars are a thing for a reason. Chikan must happen to children too. Office workers staying crazy late hours even if they are finished because it looks bad to leave before the boss. Couples staying in horrible loveless marriages because his career will suffer and worse, their kids will, if they get divorced. I love and honor many, many things about Japan, not in question at all. Just the pride each is allowed to have in their job knocks me sideways with happiness. The emphasis on doing one's best without being cynical is lovely. Seeing someone describe their work and how vital it is to the operation as a whole with such pleasure...wowzers. I wish work here was valued and supported like that. And the ideal of keeping shared spaces tidy and quiet. The "This is why we can't have nice things" rotten behavior that's taken over in the US is so gross. Everything good gets smashed, stolen, or ruined by someone here. It's coarse and ugly and grown exponentially during your time away. Re-entry is going to be rough, and the noise will be the least of it. My assumptions about the handicapped were way wrong and I am sorry I was offensive. You are right, someone who's never been can't truly get a grasp on all the nuance and 'nuance' is Japan's middle name! I adore you. I have been feeling so cruddy and like my brain is full of boogers. To get to talk ideas like a grown-up, oy, so nice. I told you, the nasty people have truly been emboldened by the orange one's tenure and most of what passes for conversation is a string of invective and crocodile tears. Many thanks, my beauty. If I can tame my Medusa 'do into something reasonable I might even record tonight. Mwah!~LA
I adore you, too, and I love your perspective. I'm sorry that you're having such a rough time. I really want to do another video chat with you soon.
I had been trying to articulate what I've been missing about the Northeastern US and why I also have enjoyed the break from it. It's nice to trust your surroundings enough to surrender to it, but that also seems to mean giving up our creative energy in the process. We can't have our cake and eat it, too, I guess.